One of those days...

How interesting that some days you just need to cry. You know what I mean? Brush teeth, shower, cry, eat lunch, etc. You actually realize that a good cry will help things. Everything is always brighter with Claire...she is so funny and sweet and tender. So, that helped. But then we met our good friends Melissa and Avery for some good Mexican food and girl talk and that made things all the better. Thanks Mel and Avery! Off to watch some "So You Think You Can Dance"!!
k

Sunday Drive

Dear Friends,
I just walked in the door from what was intended to be a nice and cheap family outing. Now, I must blog about it in order not to cry at the humanity of it all. As previously discussed, Daniel and I are trying to live off of mostly nothing to get some stupid stuff paid off. We have been locked in the house since yesterday as we all have a cold and don't want to expose anyone else. But, we were feeling a little cabin fever and thought we would go out for ice cream. This is cheap, right?

$7.89 to be exact for a large fry, large Diet Coke, small Frosty and medium Frosty. We pulled into a parking space and Daniel crawled in the back to share with Claire. She is a Smyth and we love our french fries and frosties! We are enjoying the moment of bottled air, but the beauty of a dreary day. Finally, I decided I wanted to head on home. We were at the Wendy's on Louetta and for any of you who live near...this is a big mess with them working on the road and intersection. I should have known.

I waited for an open space, to turn right. I was EVEN TURNING RIGHT! When I actually needed to go left in order to avoid the drama of turning left without a light. I waited for a large opening and pulled out. About five seconds later, and it was a long five seconds...I see a large SUV coming close to slamming into the back of me as her horn was blaring.

I was sure I had given myself plenty of room. I was sure that there were two lanes. Daniel says I was in the "right". But, honestly...that was beside the point.

As the SUV swerves into the left lane...horn still blaring...I turn and look. A harsh-looking woman in the driver's seat is leaning over the man in the passenger seat and I hear her scream through my closed window..."F$#@ing Idiot!!!" with her middle finger proudly unrolled with a fierceness at the end of her arm that I have never seen. Claire was still enjoying her Frosty in the backseat.

My afternoon outing with my family took a very sad turn. Something like that really gets to me. I try to quiet my mind and tell myself that maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she is a bad person. Maybe she will get what's coming to her. Daniel and I talked about the fact that this would be a "teaching" moment if Claire had been older.

At what point do we get that angry? Even if I pulled out in front her... At what point is it ok for us to completely denigrate our fellow man. It makes me sad in that moment...what world have I brought my daughter into? I know there is good...I have so many friends and family that prove that to me everyday. But, what if that disappointment of a woman was Claire's teacher or coach someday? I hope that she realized what she did was wrong. But, somehow I think not. I'm better now.

I got it out. God grant me the strength to finish the evening off joyfully.
k

Bin of Doom

I wonder how many of you have some piece of furniture, tub, treadmill that you refer to in your home as "______ of doom"? This place offers a safe haven to any and all collections of stuff that we have yet to find a place for or are too lazy to put it there. We have "bins of doom" in my home. I feel like it is a step up from using the treadmill as the dungeon because then there is at least the perception that I actually use the treadmill for some sort of exercise. That perception is lost when you see the thick layer of dust and dog hair that covers it.

Well, this afternoon I felt called to begin the task of disseminating the junk that has piled up in the bin of doom on the chair in my room. This certain bin of doom has been eating up the "lost" for approximately six months. I had pretty much decided to throw a lampshade on top and call it decoration. Anyway, I told Daniel yesterday that September was going to be "organization" month for us. Surprisingly, I began the task today around 4:30pm at Claire's "witching hour", but it worked out well since she helped me empty the bin of its prisoners.

Thusly...(not sure if I used that correctly) I have finished 98% of the job of finding homes for the wayward inhabitants of our bin of doom. Daniel got home tonight and gladly decided to help me make labels for files that needed to be created. I have attached a picture of his dutiful work. I feel jazzed that this large task is down to about a 45 minute closer project tomorrow. Weird how that is.
k

Today

So, Claire went down for a nap...I now can write. She goes to MDO for the second time today and I am diligently contemplating how I'm going to spend my time while she is gone. I feel the need to keep busy because I'm still not entirely comfortable without her for so long. So, my options thus far are to lay around the house, sew, run errands, or go to lunch and a movie with my Mom. The last idea sounds the best to me, but that would require moo-lah! Daniel and I have put ourselves on a very strict budget to pay some stuff off, so I'm down to $4 "fun" money, but I have some things to return at Jo-Ann's for approximately $15 which would cover the movie. Or so I justify... But, the idea of napping, watching my DVR shows or even reading sounds remarkably pleasant as well.

My problem is that each moment is precious...this seems to be a constant theme these days with me. So, laying around sleeping is fabulous, but what if that is precious time I could be spending with my Mom? I can sleep when I'm dead...right? Or, quite practically...I should be sleeping right now instead of blogging. Unfortunately, I love to write and had hoped to write everyday. Not happening. I guess I need to stop worrying about how I will spend my time and just spend it. I hope all of you readers out there (like all 4 of you ;-) have a wonderful day and don't waste your time worrying or planning too much. Just get out there and live life...I mean...I can get 3 bean burritos at Taco Bell for $4!
k

Great Expectations

Isn't it funny when the least of these becomes our greatest accomplishment for the day? My husband bought me a sewing machine for my five year anniversary, along with an Xbox 360 for himself...go figure! Well, as those of you who know me best know...I tend to abandon my lofty adventures. There was bike riding the MS 150...challenged myself to this twice and gave up twice, hand-quilting...need I say more, a blanket for my friend Carrie...it's about 3/4 done after two years...dieting...exercise (lather, rinse, repeat).

So, I had decided on Wednesday after I found out we had to have a sleep mat for MDO, that my next "project" had begun. I wanted Claire to have a special mat, despite the fact that she isn't going to sleep on it anyway. I found a pattern from a seemingly nice Mom's blog to try. Went to the store...bought all of the junk to make it...$50 later I was ready to begin. I've never owned a sewing machine, so the sewing was what I was worried about most. Who knew that cutting the fabric would be my decline. Yes, after two hours I had two large lop-sided pieces of fabric. My fears of abandonment (mine, not theirs) was rising. I stashed all of my goods in the corner of the hallway so as not for Claire to stab herself with pins.

After a few days...Daniel was back home and I decided I was going to do it. I was going to make this nap-mat or die trying. I went back to Wally-world and bought more fabric, since I had hacked up the last like Edward Scissor-hands. Last night, after Claire went to bed...we began. Daniel helped me get the pieces cut...we knew to fold it thanks to my dearest friend and seamstress, Renee. After that, and a few more "helps" along the way...I was on my own. After a fun night of Rockband...he went to sleep. My fears were bubbling up again...how could I go this alone?! I haven't been up past midnight in a year! (Kiddos will do that to you!) Yet, I forged ahead.

12:30a.m. Finished

Is it possible that I actually completed a task, and in a timely manner? Really? Claire's nap mat was complete minus someway to attach the tabs to keep it rolled up when not in use. Afraid of buttons, and decided against velcro due to all the carpet getting stuck in it. Any suggestions welcomed! Despite that miniscule abandon...I completed my project. She will have her nap mat on Wednesday. Again, I know she won't sleep in it, but I'm still proud! I have attached a picture of my accomplishment! Ooohs and Ahhhs are welcomed.
k

Half-Full

Do you ever have one of those moments, those moments of clarity? Of course you do, and for some of us they are fewer and far between than for others. My most recent came this evening as I opened the door to the Pizza Hut delivery man. Let me back up...the husband and I are trying to save money, pay stuff off, eat out less. So, while Daniel was flying out of town, I took the opportunity to order me a pizza. Pineapple, stuffed-crust...my favorite.

My littlest turd of a dog started barking. Claire is asleep. The doorbell rings before I can get it open...damn it. So, I open the door up to who seems to be a nice middle-aged Indian man. The total bill was $15.52 and I had already decided that I would give the delivery person my $20 bill. When I handed the guy the $20, he began to dig in his pockets for change. He looked up at me and with a smile, muttered something about change back and I told him that I didn't need change. At this point I'm digging in the box to make sure they remembered the ranch dressing. But, I noticed in his eyes the excitement of a fairly good tip.

This could have been my Dad.

Needless to say, I felt like a schmuck because the big tip was more because I didn't have change than it was just a nice thing to do.

How is it that in this vast world of immense beauty and God's glorious gifts, that we get caught up with the ranch dressing? We get caught up in the "me" game. I get caught up in the "me" game. So, the moral...tip big, and thank God you aren't standing with your hand out hoping for it.
k

Bible Study

Yea, I have my first follower!! Thanks Bobbi Jo! Just got back from Bible Study and I really got a lot out of tonight's lesson. We are going through the study "Growing Kids God's Way" by the Ezzo's. I recommend the series to anyone that has kids. Tonight was about the role the father has in their child's life and how important it is. Very good info! Unfortunately, Daniel is in Delaware. But, he is the best Dad to Claire...just wish he was home more. Claire had a 101.2 fever tonight, but I'm most certain its from the MMR shot last week...said 7-10 days later might get fever...day 8. I'm super tired, so maybe I will try creativity tomorrow. ;-)