Great Expectations

Isn't it funny when the least of these becomes our greatest accomplishment for the day? My husband bought me a sewing machine for my five year anniversary, along with an Xbox 360 for himself...go figure! Well, as those of you who know me best know...I tend to abandon my lofty adventures. There was bike riding the MS 150...challenged myself to this twice and gave up twice, hand-quilting...need I say more, a blanket for my friend Carrie...it's about 3/4 done after two years...dieting...exercise (lather, rinse, repeat).

So, I had decided on Wednesday after I found out we had to have a sleep mat for MDO, that my next "project" had begun. I wanted Claire to have a special mat, despite the fact that she isn't going to sleep on it anyway. I found a pattern from a seemingly nice Mom's blog to try. Went to the store...bought all of the junk to make it...$50 later I was ready to begin. I've never owned a sewing machine, so the sewing was what I was worried about most. Who knew that cutting the fabric would be my decline. Yes, after two hours I had two large lop-sided pieces of fabric. My fears of abandonment (mine, not theirs) was rising. I stashed all of my goods in the corner of the hallway so as not for Claire to stab herself with pins.

After a few days...Daniel was back home and I decided I was going to do it. I was going to make this nap-mat or die trying. I went back to Wally-world and bought more fabric, since I had hacked up the last like Edward Scissor-hands. Last night, after Claire went to bed...we began. Daniel helped me get the pieces cut...we knew to fold it thanks to my dearest friend and seamstress, Renee. After that, and a few more "helps" along the way...I was on my own. After a fun night of Rockband...he went to sleep. My fears were bubbling up again...how could I go this alone?! I haven't been up past midnight in a year! (Kiddos will do that to you!) Yet, I forged ahead.

12:30a.m. Finished

Is it possible that I actually completed a task, and in a timely manner? Really? Claire's nap mat was complete minus someway to attach the tabs to keep it rolled up when not in use. Afraid of buttons, and decided against velcro due to all the carpet getting stuck in it. Any suggestions welcomed! Despite that miniscule abandon...I completed my project. She will have her nap mat on Wednesday. Again, I know she won't sleep in it, but I'm still proud! I have attached a picture of my accomplishment! Ooohs and Ahhhs are welcomed.
k

Half-Full

Do you ever have one of those moments, those moments of clarity? Of course you do, and for some of us they are fewer and far between than for others. My most recent came this evening as I opened the door to the Pizza Hut delivery man. Let me back up...the husband and I are trying to save money, pay stuff off, eat out less. So, while Daniel was flying out of town, I took the opportunity to order me a pizza. Pineapple, stuffed-crust...my favorite.

My littlest turd of a dog started barking. Claire is asleep. The doorbell rings before I can get it open...damn it. So, I open the door up to who seems to be a nice middle-aged Indian man. The total bill was $15.52 and I had already decided that I would give the delivery person my $20 bill. When I handed the guy the $20, he began to dig in his pockets for change. He looked up at me and with a smile, muttered something about change back and I told him that I didn't need change. At this point I'm digging in the box to make sure they remembered the ranch dressing. But, I noticed in his eyes the excitement of a fairly good tip.

This could have been my Dad.

Needless to say, I felt like a schmuck because the big tip was more because I didn't have change than it was just a nice thing to do.

How is it that in this vast world of immense beauty and God's glorious gifts, that we get caught up with the ranch dressing? We get caught up in the "me" game. I get caught up in the "me" game. So, the moral...tip big, and thank God you aren't standing with your hand out hoping for it.
k

Bible Study

Yea, I have my first follower!! Thanks Bobbi Jo! Just got back from Bible Study and I really got a lot out of tonight's lesson. We are going through the study "Growing Kids God's Way" by the Ezzo's. I recommend the series to anyone that has kids. Tonight was about the role the father has in their child's life and how important it is. Very good info! Unfortunately, Daniel is in Delaware. But, he is the best Dad to Claire...just wish he was home more. Claire had a 101.2 fever tonight, but I'm most certain its from the MMR shot last week...said 7-10 days later might get fever...day 8. I'm super tired, so maybe I will try creativity tomorrow. ;-)

Just when I thought I was a good parent...

Today began with a wake-up around 6a.m., which is abnormal in my household since my daughter wakes up between 4:30 and 5a.m. most days. In fact, it seemed that I had woken up on my own, without her sweet voice to rouse me. So, I slowly made my way to the bathroom and as I drizzle into the bowl, I'm thinking...maybe I should check on her. It's not like her to sleep so late. So, I head back to my side of the bed and looked for the monitor, noticing that the light wasn't on! I'm thinking it has died because I distinctly remember turning it on last night...nope...I turned it off in my sleep!! So, I flip the switch and there my sweet baby is...crying to the tune of "Get up you horrible mother!!!!". Luckily, she didn't seem to be in too terrible of sorts, as there were no major crocodile tears or red cheeks.

If that were not enough, I'm eating lunch with my Mom and rather sleepy and hungry baby... Well, I'm trying everything to keep her happy, so that my Mom and I can have a conversation. Hand her toy...on the floor. Hand her the lid to the puffs...on the floor. Hand her the spoon...on the floor. In my vacancy of thought I handed her a knife. Granted, not a steak knife, just a soft edged table knife, but nonetheless a knife! Now, after about 2 seconds I realized what I had done and snatched it away with a comment like "That wasn't a good idea...what was I thinking?" There was my Mom, and none too impressed. You would think after an inadvertent full night of sleep that I wouldn't be handing my one year old a knife to play with. Just when I thought I was a good parent...

Surrendering...

Let's get it started. To those of you who are married or have a significant other...at what point do you surrender to them. And by surrender, I don't mean "that" way you pervs! I mean in the way that if they hurt you or were hurt, it would almost kill you? Let me rephrase...my little teenage world was rocked by Michael in high school...I was in love and was crushed when it ended. Yes, this was teenage love...leaning against the wall outside of the movie theater...I'm thinking of where we are going to live when we get married and how many children we are going to have. He is thinking "when do I get to touch her boobs"! So, despite the depth of the relationship for him, it was deep for my 14 year old mind and it broke my heart. Hence, I have built the wall of china around it! My husband, who is my soulmate has been chiseling away at the thing for six years!

So, at what point do you throw caution to the wind and throw your heart on that butcher block...exposed. I just watched 20/20 and it was about a baby born with his heart on the outside of his body. That's what I'm afraid that vulnerability would be for me. But, thanks to his chiseling, and hacking, and chiseling...he is slowly finding that exposed place. I love him for his tenacity ;-)
k

Blogging?

Dear Friends,
So, I've never really blogged before except on my myspace page, which I never look at anymore anyway, therefore we will start this journey together. A little about me...my name is Kelly and Claire is my daughter..she just turned one. Tonight she went to bed without her pacifier for the first time. I was very proud of her, but a little part of me died at the same time...go figure...I didn't really need that part anyway! It makes me so sad that she is growing up...but, I know when those little milestones happen that I'm doing my job as a parent. I'm looking to get back to writing as that is one of my long time passions. Please forgive my grammar mistakes as I'm a little rusty. So, the template is set and I've got a few weak sentences down...now on to coming up with more material. Night!
Kell